Lesson Two of Joy of Home

In our last lesson, we talked about the atmosphere women lived in during the 1940s, 50s and 60s.  We talked about daycare, a little about our relationship with our spouse and about how to start the process of keeping a clean house.  Starting slowly, room by room, the entire project, which is the house, became doable.

In the introduction I asked you to choose one of the following:

  1.  Make your bed in the morning before you leave the house.
  2. Clean up the dishes before bed, every single night.
  3. Take vitamins every single day.

Taking small doable steps will lead you to success.

Many women have a hard time stomaching the thought of being a vintage housewife, because they have visions of women under the thumb of men, who are subjected to a man’s desires, and the limitations of successful careers.  Many women in today’s society hate men.  They demean them, criticize them constantly and feel the need to correct them all the time.  This doesn’t make for a peaceful, well-balanced marriage. 

I was raised in an alcoholic home, married my first husband who died due to alcohol and drug abuse, married again to a man who was domineering whom I divorced and today, I am separated from another alcohol abuser.  Yet, I like men.  Because I am still married, and although I live thousands of miles away from him, I choose to remain pure in my heart and body, and not seek out another love interest. 

I have chosen to respect and honour my husband, to value him as a person.  I do not speak unkindly about my second husband.  I have chosen these things because I want them in return.  What you give away, you will get back, or in other words, what you sow, you will reap.  I want my children and grandchildren to know that I am not a hateful person, a gossip or slanderer, and that hate is not holy.   My children and grandchildren know what they say will be kept confidential, I will not superimpose my demands and advice on them, and they feel safe by sharing their deepest secrets.  I never say to them, I told you so, I never rejoice in being right.  I tell my adult children all the time, “here are my thoughts, take them and do as you will.  Whatever you decide to do, I love you and support you.”

My highest values that everything in my life runs through are first my faith and then my family.  If I come across something that goes against these two things, I do not consider them, do not think about them, I have nothing to do with them.  If my family needs something, I give it to them if I have it.  My faith and family are always first, and because I serve my family, their needs go before mine. 

I am telling you this because what you do speaks louder than your words.  If you tell your children to clean their rooms and your bedroom looks like a bomb has gone off in there and you are sitting on the couch watching a show, what does that say to your children?   You need to demonstrate to them that you are doing what you are saying.  You must teach your children through instruction and demonstration how to clean and keep their rooms clean.

MODERN Housewife.  Who is she?  A traditional housewife is someone who values family relationships, honours her husband and is submissive to her husband.  I know, many people have no idea what true submission is.  A man should honour his wife, listen intently to what she says, and values her opinion, and a good man will cherish was she believes, but will ultimately make the final decision and he will carry the entire burden of that decision.  Listen carefully wives, what comes around goes around.  You must honour your husband’s decision, listen intently to what he has to say, and be submissive to his authority.  Oh, here we go again, with those words.  Authority simply means someone above you who will shoulder the decision.  If your boss at work tells you to do something and how to do it, and this goes wrong, it is not your fault.  No punishment should come down upon you.  You are guiltless; however, your boss is held responsible.

Above, I told you what I say to my adult children, “it is your decision and I love you, and I will support you.”  Now support doesn’t mean I give them permission to run roughshod over me, or support their sins or destructive habits, it means, I allow them to do what they feel is right for themselves, whether good or bad.  It is their decision to choose, but I will be there for them to help them heal, get out of, or celebrate with them.

What do I mean then by MODERN housewife?  It can mean a wife who works outside of the home, a single mom, a woman who wears baggy sweatpants, uses her phone to control the lights and vacuum cleaner, who buys all her vegetables from a grocery store, and makes dinner from a restaurant.  Maybe it is a mother who uses disposable diapers, puts her children in day care, hires the neighbour to cut her grass and spends four nights a week running children to dance class, ice skating lessons, and hockey practice, meanwhile, running a business from home.  Maybe she is battling debt because she and her husband need to live in a four-bedroom home, have two new cars, and a boat.

Is a modern housewife someone who lives with someone who they are not married too?  Is a modern housewife in a relationship with the same sex?  Do they hold the moral standard of the world?  Do they believe children know who they are at five or six years old?

A traditional housewife leans towards the way of the past, to varying degrees.  Some embrace the past in the sense of the morals and values of those from the past, while they embrace modern technologies.  Some take it beyond that to live the traditional life by being a stay home mother, growing their own food, baking from scratch and homeschooling.  If a traditional housewife can be that broad in scope, can’t modern housewives?

If you haven’t guessed by now, I lean towards traditional, in fact, I lean way over there.  You need to know what you believe to be true and what is really truth.  This will determine your family values and how you relate to your family members.  If you are living with someone and married to someone else, what does that say to your children, and should you be surprised when your teenager says they are pregnant.  “That’s not what I taught them.”  Earlier we talked about children, learning more by watching than hearing from you.  You are teaching your children your moral compass.  What you believe will come alive in them.

You need to choose things in your life carefully.  You need to understand, your family is unique and must be protected.  Not everything going on out there in the world is safe for your family, but your home must be safe for your family.  If you don’t want sexual perversion in your house, you have to keep it out.  If you don’t want anger and hatred in your house, you have to keep it out.  This is all part of housekeeping.  HOUSE KEEPING.

You reap what you sow.  If you are living a homosexual lifestyle, and believe that drugs are okay, and that swearing is an acceptable language, and you allow it all in your house, your children will most likely learn to behave like this and carry it out in their own lives.  You are your children’s moral compass until they are old enough and mature enough to direct themselves. 

Modern Housekeeping.  Cleaning a house in your pajamas, using a Swiffer while listening to the new episode of a new program on your EarPods doesn’t make you a modern-day housekeeper.  That makes you someone who is cleaning their house with modern tools.   It is what is being taught in the home that brings you towards being a modern-day housekeeper or traditional housekeeper.   You can do your housework in your housecoat and slippers and be a traditional housekeeper.  A retrowife, tradwife or traditional housekeeper is someone who holds a moral compass of the past more tightly than a modern housekeeper.  Some overlaying occurs in some households, but morals, values and faith play a large role in the labels used.

I want you to understand, you can be in debt, living in the country or an apartment, owe money on your car and credit card, and be a modern or traditional housekeeper.  You can wear dresses all the time and be a modern or traditional housekeeper.   You can call yourself a retrowife, tradwife, minimalist, hoarder, satanist, say you are a male trapped in a woman’s body, believe you are a dog or a forty-year-old baby, you are a housekeeper when you take care of your home.  You can follow a 1940s housekeeping schedule, an 1890s housekeeping schedule, make up your own housekeeping schedule, you are still a housekeeper. 

House – a place that you clean.  A place that you live.  A place for your family.

Keeper – According to the Oxford dictionary – a person whose job is to take care of a building, its contents or something valuable.

Mother – a woman in relation to her child or children.

bring up (a child) with care and affection.

Do you understand what I am saying?   Everyone has the responsibility to keep their houses clean and tidy, and every single parent is the moral compass that their children will follow.  This is why some daycares are so dangerous.  The soul of a child is being taught there, to believe in it, and to live out what is shown to them.  What a mother and father believe, might not be what the daycare believes.   Satanists, witches, drug addicts, Christians, Buddhists, all run and work at these daycares.  There might be a mandate in the daycares doctrine that states no personal faith can be taught in these daycares.  That is an impossible thing to keep one from doing. 

Someone addicted to a substance will likely come to work under the influence.  A witch will likely cast spells over the children.  A person of faith will likely pray over the children.  How this person talks and relates to the children will be in a way what they believe.  You can’t get away from it.  As an adult, have you ever been around someone that just gives you a creepy feeling?  You can’t place your finger on what it is, but there is something.  Your child will be exposed to this at daycare and will not want to go, but you force them to go because you need to work.  Soon your child settles in because that creepy person is now normal and that is a problem, as that child is now under the influence of this creepy person.  The child’s behaviour might be affected at home by it, but soon, you will think that it’s normal behaviour, when it’s not.  You are focused on getting dinner on the table, the baths done and the children in bed, so you can watch your favourite show that comes on at eight. 

This same thing goes on in public schools.   All grades are being taught to masturbate, have sex with the same sex, and to be loose with their virginity.  History is not being taught in truth, debt and credit card abuse is not taught as not wrong, and homemaking skills are not taught.  As a parent it is your responsibility to make sure your children are being taught correctly.  There are some parents who want their children to get naked in school and explore each other; do you?  Is your daycare, pre-school, school doing this?  This is part of house keeping, keeping it safe.

I understand that not all families can have a stay-at-home parent, who homeschools.  But all parents have the responsibility to know what is going on in their children’s daycares and schools.  Maybe you are a parent who thinks it is okay for a bearded man to wear dresses to work and teach your children how to perceive themselves as being born in the wrong sex.  Maybe you think it is okay for your adult teacher to watch children explore themselves.  Maybe you think it is okay for a mature male to walk naked through your daughter’s change room.   If not, what are you doing about it?

Parents are not allowed to be afraid nor are they allowed to be too tired to stand up for their children and protect them.  Whether you are working full-time or a stay-at-home parent, that is your job. 

Are you a traditional homemaker/housekeeper, or a modern homemaker/housekeeper?  Are your children learning your morals and values or someone else’s?  Are you willing to risk everything to protect your children?  Are you doing everything you can possibly do to build within your children a moral compass that they can stand on throughout their adulthood?

It is helpful to write down your values and morals.  What do you want your children to learn from you?  Do you want them to play the video games they are now playing, and do you know what they are?  Are your children allowed to watch pornography, and do you know if they are?  Do you want your children to know how to cook, clean and do laundry, and if you do, are you teaching them?  Do you know your children or are they just living beings in your house?

These questions are guideposts to help you become a better housekeeper.  You are the keeper of your house, don’t let anyone else be.

Noah built an ark.  Did his children believe right from the start?  Your family is depending on you.  Build your ark and save your family.

Written and published by Tina Angel for Three Crosses Canada – 2024

These lessons may be printed for personal use only. 

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