How do you start the process of change? First you need to decide what you want to change.
We talked about housekeeping. If your bedroom looks like a war zone, start there. Change your sheets, wash your clothes, and put them away, pick up the garbage, vacuum the floor and dust. You don’t need to study for hours or do research on the computer for days, trying to figure out how to clean up your room, you just need to move, focus, and do the work.
If you are being abused in your marriage, leave ASAP. There are shelters, agencies, and family members who will help you. You again don’t need to research for hours on how to leave, just do it. If you continue to allow fear to talk to you, you and your family might end up dead, laying in a gutter bleeding from torture.
If you and your spouse have a good marriage, communicate, and share life together and you might find yourselves needing to compromise on your future and your dreams. Maybe your spouse wants to become a dentist and you will need to work to support him and his dreams. Maybe you want to open a clothing store and he wants to move away from the large city to a farm and raise hogs. Maybe you were both foolish with money and have a mountain of debt you both have to deal with. These things need deep consideration and searching and planning.
In most cases it all comes down to three things: money, perseverance, and focus.
We discussed earlier about living below your means. Living below your means you can save for an emergency fund, save for a house, save for a camper, or get out of debt faster. No matter where you are in life, no matter if you want to get out of a marriage, get into a marriage, run after your dreams, you need to start with gaining control over your money.
What is your dream? What do you see in your future?
Maybe your dream is to have a traditional household, the mom stays home, and the dad works. You both want 5 or 6 kids and live in the country or a country atmosphere. What can you do today, to start that dream? I bet most of you can’t think of anything beyond getting enough money together to buy land, a house, and move.
Suppose you are five thousand dollars in debt. Start selling things, work overtime, to get that debt paid off. Once that is done, start saving for a down payment. Do you want to have chickens, cows, and pigs? Start researching the animals. Do you have your gun license yet? What do you know about gardening, preserving and butchering animals? Do you know where you want to live? What kind of pens, barns or housing do you need for the animals? Are you planning on homeschooling or the kids catching a bus to school? Are you prepared with emergency supplies, power tools, knowledgeable about wild animals, know how to prime a pump, operate a tractor, build a fence, and what to do about forest fire safety. Or are you just going to wait to gain all this knowledge when you get there and get overwhelmed, back into debt, not have the equipment you need to get the job done right. Start today, right where you are at.
What if your dream is opening a tattoo parlor or a barber shop. Renting a building and buying chairs is the easy part. Have you saved enough money? Are you licensed to do the work? What accounting program are you going to use? Are you willing to put in the long hours and deal with employees who fail to show up for work? What about taxes? What about employment laws? What about products? What about the layout of the shop? What about laundry and insurance? How much do you have to make in order to pay rent and employees first before paying yourself? Is your saving account large enough to handle bad times? Is there a need for that kind of shop in your area? Are you healthy enough to do the job? Is operating out of your home, building a clientele the best option. What is the cost of maintaining your equipment? How do you deal with clients who don’t show up?
What can you do today, to make your dreams come true tomorrow?
If you want to learn to sew clothing, the smart thing to do is start watching YouTube videos by people who show you how. Purchasing or borrowing a sewing machine, start by learning to sew a straight line. What is a 5/8th seam allowance? What kind of fabric is best to learn to sew with? What kind of pattern do you buy? What is a facing, interfacing, pinking shears, cotton thread, polywrap thread? Do you need a surger? How do you fix the tension on a sewing machine?
Suppose you dream of traveling to another country. Do you just show up at the airport and buy a ticket? No. You need to plan where you want to go, get a passport, buy luggage, pack the appropriate clothing, book your holidays at work, arrange a ride to the airport, book a hotel, etc. Today, you can begin to dream and plan for your trip. Between the letters A and Z, are many other letters. If you prepare before the event, you will be less likely to be fearful and fail.
Have you ever wanted to do something and just went out and bought everything you would need for the project and never did anything with it? Two years later, you are hauling it to the thrift store to get rid of it.
You don’t take one ballroom dance class and run out and buy competition level foot ware and outfits. Slow and steady wins the race.
Most people think if they dream it, it should happen overnight. Or they can’t do something unless it is in their hands. I deal a lot with people who are abused in a marriage, and they stay because they can’t see a way out. You can say there is a place open for them and their children at such and such a building, and they refuse because it is not what they wanted or where they wanted it, or fear overtakes them. The apartment is small, not like the house they are living in. They shouldn’t have to leave because they are not the ones who ripped the marriage apart. It is beneath them. They are not focused on what is good, what will carry them into tomorrow. Living in a safe environment, even if it is small, will help them gain control over their fear, their expenditures, teach them how to be independent, and how-to live-in peace. In all reality, most women could not live in the same house, and support their children and keep up with the bills in the house they are living in. Support payments might not be reliable or even accessible. People lock themselves often in their own ideas of what should be, that they can’t possibly see any other way.
If someone gave you a million dollars, chances are you would be broke within a couple years. Maybe even deeper in debt than you are now. Why? Because you have a mentality of now or an entitlement attitude. Most winners of that much money buy a house that they can’t afford the taxes and maintenance on. They buy a vehicle they can’t afford the insurance on. They buy things that have no importance or longevity to them.
If a person did get a million dollars and took time to research housing, cars, belongings, and were patient and deliberate with buying things, they probably could live well, without losing everything or going into debt.
What can you do today, to bring your dreams to life? Use this list for a helpful guide to build your own.
- What is my debt load? How much interest am I paying each month?
- How much do I make net?
- What are my monthly expenses?
- What can I sell to make money to pay down my debt?
- What can I do to make more money?
- How much do I want to save for an emergency fund?
- What is one thing I want to do this year? Learn to kayak, get my first aide ticket, learn to pressure can, learn to operate a gravel truck, rebuild the motor on my motorcycle, train my dog, open a savings account, learn to paint… What is one thing I can do today to start to activate that dream?
- If I could dream so big, that I feel breathless, I would…
- If you are married what is your spouse’s dream? Is there something you can do to help them achieve their dream?
- What are you willing to sacrifice to make your dreams come true?
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